The Best Day Ever

Today was the best day ever.

Let's start off with first things first.

1 WEEK

until I steal this cutie pie's last name.

photo credit

(just a sneak peek picture from our bridal/groomal session)

I can't believe it. I'm getting married in 7 days.

7 DAYS!!!! 

This reality is starting to hit me a little bit. I've been waiting for this day, for a very long time. In fact, Brady and I started talking marriage way before he even started his mission papers. It is crazy to think we have been together for 3 years, even though we were separated by distance for 2 of the 3. I've been practicing my signature, and it's getting pretty good. Brady is so cute, and wants to wear his wedding ring right now, which I guess he could, but we'll wait until we're married ;) I remember being at 1 week until Brady got home from his mission, and how it went by fast. And this time, it's 1 week until we're married, for all of time and eternity. :)

Now lets move on, to one of the greatest events of today.

I went through the Jordan River Temple to receive my endowment, and covenant with my Father in Heaven. It was beautiful. It was amazing, it was so awesome!! :)

 I had to work in the morning, and it was all I could do to stay focused. I was so excited & nervous I couldn't even eat lunch!!! I ran some errands as soon as I got off work, and came home in time to put my Temple bag together with my mom and then we waited for Brady to arrive so we could go to the Temple!! I was so excited at this part, it was finally happening!! I remember calling in February to schedule this endowment session and now it was finally here. And what better way to spend it knowing I would be marrying Brady only 1 week later!?!? When we got there I had my mom take a photo of us, and as we walked in the door my mom said, "exciting!! you get to go through the doors!" and I had a flash back to this memory (2nd paragraph). But this time, I got to go through the doors, I got to walk through and was allowed.

The session was amazing, it is literally 2 hours. But it was worth every second. I obviously can't speak of what goes on in the Temple, as it is sacred not secret, but I will say it is nothing what I expected it to be. My mother was my escort, and my sister, brother-in-law, aunt, cousins, grandparents, dad, family, etc. were all there to support me. It was awesome :) I cried at the very beginning of the session. So overwhelmed with the Spirit and the reality of what I was about to participate in; the covenant I was about to make with MY Heavenly Father. It was the most perfect feeling in the world. But, one of the main reasons I cried was because I was finally in the Temple with my sweetheart. I had dreamed of this day my entire life, and especially while he was gone. He sat right next to me across the isle. We kept sneaking looks at each other, the entire time. He kept making me smile, blush and giggle. He is SO cute you guys. Seriously.

It was amazing, one of the neatest things I've ever experienced. I really want to go back. In fact, I crave to go back. I didn't feel weird, I wasn't freaked out. I was so fascinated, and eager to go back and learn more, learn it all over again, but not this next time, and ever again, will it be for me, but it will be for someone else. I feel so much closer to my Father in Heaven, its incredible. It definitely was everything I waited for and more. My mom whispered to me during the session, "I'm so proud of you, this may sounds weird in the Temple but your obedience has finally paid off, I'm so happy for you." And yes, my obedience has paid off, I wasn't ever the best kid, but I still have time to turn around, and I did... my Father in Heaven was merciful and entered my life at the perfect time.

When I walked out of the Temple, I walked past a bunch of girls outside the baptistry doors and I just thought, how cute, if they only knew what it will be like when they get older and serve missions or get married, and experience what I just did. It was so nice to be apart of something with more than just myself. Its nice to know we have so much support for each other in this gospel, we have so many people to lean on for help. We are not alone. I was so happy and so grateful so many family members could come. We headed for dinner and then called it a night..

It was a beautiful day :)

I'm so happy and I cannot wait to be married in 7 days.

Father's Day

I'm about to brag, so watch out guys, my dad rocks & I have the best dad in the world! ;)

I love my dad. He rocks. He is a very hardworker, and does so much for my family. I'm so grateful to have him in my life. He is tough but I learn so much. He takes such good care of my mother and I love it. I feel like my dad and I sort of have a special bond, that he may not think of but I like to think he does. My dad has been by my side for every single surgery I've ever had. He was always there to hold my hand when I would get my IV and when I felt grown up enough to not hold his hand, he still stood by me. And when I woke up from my surgery, he was always sitting next to my bed. Now I don't want to say my mother was never there to support me, because boy she was. One surgery I had, I was in the hospital for a few days and she went home one day for 3 hours to shower and do laundry, so my dad and other family stayed with me; I BAWLED the entire time she was gone. Hahaha, so silly.

Anyway, I'm just very grateful for my dad. His strength helped my strength. Knowing my dad would be there when I woke up was comforting, I knew he would be there without a doubt. It may not seem like a big deal, but to me it is. It's something special I will always remember. Because now that I'm older, and can handle it on my own, and will have a husband in 9 days!!!!, I will never forget my dads love, and selflessness towards me.

So for Father's Day, we got together and headed up to Silverlake and had a bbq and walked around the lake. It was wonderful having my family there, and Brady too! We both got sunburned but not so much me as Brady. I put sunscreen on ;) Hahahaha, it was fun though. Came home, took a nap, and then headed to Brady's dads house for another bbq for dinner. It was fun but I was SO exhausted from being in the sun all day.

Winning

I really don't like missing general conference sessions, I feel like I miss out on so much even though I know I can always watch the videos tomorrow, or read the talks in just a couple weeks. But as I retweet quotes on Twitter from today's sessions, I can't help but get one out of my head.....

"Stay on the Lord's side and you will win every time."

- Elder Richard G. Scott

This is speaking, so powerfully to me tonight. I have been struggling a bit, just in a few different areas in my life right now, and I feel like this quote speaks to me. That it was meant just for me. That is why I love this gospel. It is SO powerful. And here's why:

And today, it was, "from a specific phrase" that was my answer. There is so much hate going on in the world. Everyone is so unkind and it really hurts. I just wish everyone could learn to love each other for who they are, not their actions, past, or what could happen, but loving them for who they are now. I know that if we do that, we will help them become who they can be; reaching their potential. I have never been one for confrontation, or speaking my mind on certain topics that can cause arguments/discussions with people that can end up as a negative thing, so I usually avoid it at all costs, but when I see it happen to people I truly care about... it hurts. I just want it all to stop.

I want the world to stop being filthy. I want it to stop being so dark, and confused. I just want the light again. I want happiness, and peace. I want things figured out that have seemed to be going on forever. I just want things to be right.

And my point to sharing this quote, is this...... I know that one day, the world will be right. The world will have everlasting happiness, and love will be the center. It will be clean and free from darkness. I know that because the Lord will be with us. All of us. When we are fighting on the Lord's side, we will always win. I know it. I stand as a witness. As I struggle with things, I know that as I remain close to the Lord, and choose Him to help me fight my battles, He will help me win; I WILL win. He is my best friend and He loves me unconditionally.

I'm so grateful for this love that the gospel brings me. So much comfort. This quote will go on with me during the next 6 months, and probably forever. I'm so grateful for conference. It can help anyone. I ask, that you tune in, even for a few minutes, if not longer, to listen to the words of our Prophet, and his beloved Apostles and other general authorities. They will help you. They will listen to the prayers of your heart, through revelation given by our Father in Heaven, who hears your every word.

In His Sacred Name, Amen.

Called to Serve

These are some of my late night ramblings, but this subject has been on my mind, a lot these past couple days.

The Gospel.

I can't get it out of my mind. I can't get the thought of sharing it, out of my mind either. I keep thinking of ways I could share the gospel more, so I got a twitter again. But then I worry that people won't follow me because I share too much "Mormon stuff." I also feel like I'll lose friends on Facebook... But that's now what I should be worrying about. I should be worrying about my duty, when I was called to serve here, on the earth, during these Latter-days.

I may not be going on a mission. Even though it was something I really wanted to do for a long time, I'm still called to serve. I'm still a member missionary, and I can still spread the gospel just as often as a full-time LDS missionary. And I'm so grateful for that.

Little reminders in my head all week, that I am a Child of God, and that my Heavenly Father loves me. So very, very much. I know I can spread the gospel in ways He needs me to. So as I strive to serve daily, I keep in my prayers that very duty.

I walked to and from the gym today, it was beautiful outside. As I was walking home, this song started playing. As Easter is approaching, and general conference, I'm getting very excited. I had this feeling that I should just listen to it. So I did, and I felt so much happiness. I do, Believe in Christ. After which, this song started playing and I absolutely love this song. It's so beautiful and of course, I absolutely love MoTab.

I am so excited to get prepared for General Conference. I'm going to start pondering questions, and thinks for my future. I've decided to get a journal just for general conference. It's going to be awesome :) I'm so excited to hear from our prophet, the twelve apostles and other general authorities. I really wish conference was more frequent than just 2 times a year. I really hope I can focus on my Savior, and His resurrection this coming Easter.

I hope I always remember to be Christlike and remember to spread the gospel wherever I can. I do not want to rob anyone of this beautiful joy. Everyone is loved by the Lord.

I've been wanting to read the scriptures with Brady. I haven't been doing so well personally. I've hit Jacob and I'm just stumped because chapter 5 is soooooo long, but that shouldn't be the reason. ANYWAY. I told Brady I would really like to start reading the scriptures with him. And even though I'm reading the Book of Mormon right now, I've felt prompted to start reading D&C. I haven't read D&C in a few years and I miss it. Every time I hear a verse or two, I always wonder why I'm not reading it again. So tonight, Brady and I read D&C 1. It was beautiful, and I really felt the Spirit. I know this will bless us, and us individually. I not only want to draw closer to the Spirit personally, but I want to with Brady, as a companionship as well. :)

I'm going to strive so much harder to share the gospel, whether it's on my blog, Facebook, twitter, or by simply opening my mouth. This is the most important thing in my life, and it always will be. I'm so excited for general conference and I hope you are too.

I know this gospel to be true, and I know that my Savior lives and loves me. I know my Heavenly Father sent me to this earth, to serve him and to become just as He is. I cannot wait for my return; to hug him, see his face. I cannot wait to be greeted by my Savior, and I cannot wait to see loved ones who have passed on. I know this Gospel is essential to the path that leads to the Celestial Kingdom. I know the Book of Mormon to be true, and I stand as a witness for Joseph Smith, Jr. I know He translated the book correctly, and as God allowed him to. I'm grateful for his example, and his desire to serve the Lord in every situation. I know that families will be together forever. I know that the day I kneel across the altar, and make those sacred covenants, I will hold strong, because I have the gospel in my life, and strive daily to be like our Savior. I know that I will be with Brady forever, and no matter how our family turns out, we will be happy. I know that as I prepare to enter the temple to receive my endowments, and then be sealed to my sweetheart, I will be blessed immensely. I love my life. I love this happiness. I love this gospel. I love it. In His Sacred Name, Amen.

Entering the House of the Lord

Happy February everyone! :)

This morning, I woke up a whole hour and forty minutes before I needed to be up. What better time than that to dive into the scriptures and catch up on what I haven't read this past week. It's amazing how easily it is to forget to read your scriptures... yet so easy to remember to read them as soon as you wake up. I'm so glad that thought always enters my mind when I wake up.

This morning, the only scripture that stuck out to me, as there were many, but this one just added to what's been on my mind these past few days is 2 Nephi 12:3.

"And many people shall go and say, Come ye, and let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, to the house of the God of Jacob; and he will teach us his ways, and we will walk in his paths; for out of Zion shall go forth the law, and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem."

Isn't that so wonderful? I mean really. That's what happens when we attend the Temple. We learn of God. We learn of his ways, his teachings, what he wants us to do in this life, and then we will walk that path doing absolutely everything we can to remain faithful to him, so we can, one day, return to him forever. The Temple is a wonderful place to receive answers. It is the holiest place on this entire earth. I am so grateful to be surrounded by so many of these gorgeous Temples. To be blessed enough, and worthy enough to enter in and do the work of the Lord for those who have passed on, and one day, enter for myself :)

That is my biggest desire right now, and I'm really having a hard time not thinking about it. Entering the Temple is literally all I think about. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just wanting to enter in because everyone else has, or I'm still the only 20 year old girl who sits next to the 12 year olds doing baptisms; and getting asked if I'm endowed every time I go. It's a bit rough but I have to remind myself this is still amazing work, and for any other work in the Temple to be done, baptism must come first. It's really special. The Temple is such a humbling place, it makes me forget my complaint of not having been endowed when I go.

I know what is inside the Temple. I know what awaits me. But.... do you want to know the BEST thing about the temple?

It will ALWAYS be there.

The temple isn't going anywhere. The temple is eternity. The blessings which are inside, still await me and always will until I make it through. It will still be amazing, it will still be wonderful and spiritual and prolly the best experience of my life. And maybe the time for me to go isn't right now, or maybe it is. Whichever, the Temple will always be there for me, no matter how long it takes for me to enter in, readily making sacred covenants with my Father in Heaven.

So, to satisfy my current desire while I pray about it daily, I'm currently reading a book called Prepare Now for the Temple by Brittany Mangus. It really is one of the best books I could possibly read. She wrote it for sisters who are getting married or going on a mission, but still says this book is good to read if you're not doing either. She starts off the book by pointing out our desire to enter the Temple. Do we truly know the work we are doing? Are we truly prepared to enter in? It's just amazing and I'm grateful for this book.

So while I wait for my answer of when I can enter in, I will continue to enter, and do the work of baptism and know in my heart that no matter what I'm doing in the Temple, at least I'm at the Temple. It is where the Spirit dwells and I can receive answers to my prayers. I know these Temples to be the house of the Lord, and for those of you who are endowed, please continue to enter in his house. You will blessed immensely. It is the one place for escape from this world. I say this in his sacred name, Amen.

2 Nephi 9

The Lord was definitely watching over me this morning and the Holy Spirit was filling my heart with comfort and love.

I have always loved this chapter, as long as I can remember. Okay, I'll be honest, I have loved it ever since my sweet Andy passed away. But I have loved it for a happy reason. This reason is comfort. This chapter is full of promises and happiness and reasons why we are to be righteous, what we are promised if we are and what happens if we are not. It tells us where we end up and that is with the Lord and our Savior. I cannot think of anything greater than that.

I miss Andy; alot. It comes in spurts, even 4 years later... It still hurts and every time I see a picture of him, my heart aches to know the boy that could have stayed and grown old, and turned his life around. But I can't change that. I can only accept it. I can only remember that he is doing AMAZING things with our Father in Heaven right now. He is happy, and he is truly in a better place. I'm so grateful for the knowledge that I have of this gospel. To know that I will see him again. To know that families are forever.

I woke up this morning, thought about how I had 30 minutes to read my 4 pages a day, and I wasn't going to but the thought kept coming, you know you should read this morning. You know you need to read. And so I read, and I knew it wasn't just to get my 4 pages in for the day, but the second I saw my next 4 pages were chapter 9 of 2nd Nephi, I almost started crying. The Lord has not forgotten me and continually reminds me of the blessings I can obtain if I stay faithful to Him. I could not have read anything better this morning.

I testify that I know the Lord is aware of us and our needs. He is ALWAYS looking after us, and even when we feel He isn't answering our prayers, He is, but on HIS time. This is His plan and we must have faith in it. He is the one who knows best. He knew what I needed to hear, without me even asking. I'm so grateful for this gospel. I say this in His sacred name, Amen.

Read 2 Nephi 9 here.

I'm So Happy

I am so incredibly happy with my life right now. I am so blessed. I'm so blessed with the family that I have, the relationship I have with my Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ, the best friend ever, and the best boyfriend ever. I have had a tough time with relationships and letting it get to me but I'm working on getting over that and just really enjoying and appreciating the people who are in my life right now.

This morning I had more extra time to read the scriptures than I usually do. I've been slacking a bit, but I'm not perfect and at least I'm reading them. I'm grateful for the comforting words that I continue to read every single day. I can do this. I can do hard things.

Brady. Oh man. I can never say it enough. I love Brady so much. He is the most important thing in my life. He is so sweet. I love his smile, and how he kisses me on the cheek, only a million times a day. I love that he tells me I'm pretty, sporadically throughout the day. The way he answers the phone when I call him, and I love love LOVE how close he lives to me. He's still the same gentleman that caught my attention almost 3 years ago. I'm so glad that he has found a job that he really enjoys, and is excited to start school in the Summer! I'm so excited for this year :) It will prolly be a big one for us, both individually and together :) He is my best friend. My better half. My soulmate. My companion. He is the best person I have ever known. I love him so much.

I am also very grateful for my best friend. She is so amazing. I miss her so much, I haven't seen her as often as I used to but she still means the world to me. She hasn't left my side in my trials and my successes. I never want her to forget how much I appreciate her and all that she does. I will never forget her, no matter where our lives take us. I will always go to her first. I will always keep her in my life. She is my best friend, my other half, basically she's my sister. We have done everything together in life, and I'm so grateful to have shared so much with her. I love you so much Abby, thanks for everything.

And last, I'm very grateful for my family. They are amazing people. I am currently taking a Marriage and Family Relations class, and we've been talking a lot about families and what they mean to us, and what we consider to be "family." I love that I'm never going to be alone. Friends come and go, people in our lives come and go but family is forever. I will always have them and I'm so grateful that they love me unconditionally, and that I can always be myself with them. I'm grateful for my parents, who made the decision to be sealed in the Lord's Temple. Their example has influenced me so much. And their decision has made me happier than any decision they've made. I love my family so much. Especially my little guys.

I love my life and I am so grateful. I'm so unbelievably happy right now. I couldn't ask for more and I will always thank my Father in Heaven.

Summary '12

Here's to 2012! I can remember going to Orem with my bff Jenna, to party it up at UVU Newphoria and having the time of my LIFE. And I remember coming home with SO much excitement for what this year was about to bring, and now it's over. This year went by EXTREMELY fast and I can't believe it, but like 2011, I'm pretty excited for what's in store next year :)

January - Partied the new year at UVU Newphoria with my bff Jenna. Brady 11 months left. Lots of baptisms at the Temple. Letter writing. My first little black dress. Squad (aka Karlee) got married and I was lucky enough to be a bridesmaid. My first day of Spring semester at SLCC. Roommate weekend with my beh fren Abby. I dyed my hair 2 colors for the first time in 4 years. Lots of letters and packages. Babysitting Evan.

February - Brady 10 months left. Set a reading goal. Valentine's Day craft. Lots more of babysitting. A lot of cruising and endless hot chocolate/pies at Village Inn with beh fren. Sister found out she was having a boy! Made it to 299 days left! Exploring studying places with Abby. Farewells. Packages. Institute. LADY ANTEBELLUM CONCERT!!! Ladies night out to see the Vow. Evan turned 1.

March - Obsession with Justin Bieber (still going). Catching up with old friends and making new! Brady 9 months left. More babysitting. Cousin Andrew came home from his mission, locked my keys in my car, while running for an hour, nobody at the airport could help us. Dinner with the roommates. Facetime with Jenna. Sunday walks at the Temple. More letters. Power outage at work. Mormon drinks with Abby. Baptisms at SLC Temple with some friends. Dying from my classes and getting ready for finals. Discovering the cutest bookshop ever. Eating a 6 pound pizza that too 30 minutes to cook. YWGC with sisters and mom. Prep for GC.

April - Brady 8 months left. My birthday twin from Germany came to visit! Temple trips. RSL game with co-workers. Easter. Babysitting some more. Silverlake trip with Abby; made an awesome music video. More letters. Spring semester ends. Bowling and RSL game round 2 with co-workers.

May - Brady 7 months left. Visit Ty & Skye's new house; bonfire. Linsey's baby shower. Mother's Day. Mommy/Daughter date for finishing school. 200 days left. Bloggy-blog turns 2! Free pony for Evan. Seminary graduation for sissy. Lots of letters. Roommate weekend with sissy. Hogle Zoo. Chocolate milk Tuesday/Lasagna with bff Jenna. Pictures of Brady from a friend! Jess graduates high school. Summer semester starts.

June - Brady 6 MONTHS LEFT!!! Brady & I together 2 years!!! :) American Fork Canyon with family. Left Wejo after a year and entered my new branch, Sandy! Matt & Morgan's wedding. Lots of letters. First trip to City Creek. Tried on Tiffany's ring; only $54,000. Vern's wedding. Bubbles' wedding! Chasing Chance concert/visit to Orem to see Ash! Calling in RS.

July - Brady 5 months left. 4th of July spent at swimming pool with family. 2nd nephew born! Cold stone with bff Jenna. Crafting and lots of visits to see new nephew. Sleepover with Evan. Going away party with some awesome MG's. Bee's game with necklace. Gilbert's first death. Remembering good times. Bought my Macbook Pro; best purchase ever.

August - Brady 4 months left. AAinga's wedding! Painted my room pink. Lots of late night ramblings and thinking things through. My 20th birthday! Cousin Tia's wedding. Birthday package. Birthday dinner with Abby (twice; celebrating our Aug. birthdays together). Work party at RSL game; first jersey. Evan in nursery for first time. First day of fall semester. 100 DAYS LEFT. Found out Brady's homecoming date.

September - Brady 3 months left. Dyed my hair; got layers. Friend in England finds Brady; takes picture. More letters. Lots of spiritual experiences. NSPW 2012. Nervous for Brady to come home. Brigham City Temple Open house. My first, live college football game; GO UTES! They  beat BYU 24-21; bought my first UofU shirt. Bff Jenna has beautiful baby girl; go visit. Plan to graduate in 7 months. Level 5 at work. Joseph Smith (Briley) comes home from mission. RSGC with beh fren Abby. Music & the Spoken Word/tour of GCC and Temple Square with friends.

October - Brady 2 months left. Brady's 21st birthday! Surprise package. First official 5K. More letters. Spending lots of time with nephews. Pictures taken for Brady's birthday. Tswift cd Red came out; loooove it. Finished the BOM. 3 years for Andy. Halloween/carving pumpkins/trick-or-treating. Sam comes home from mission. MRI - nothing to be concerned about.

November - Brady comes home this month; 3 weeks; 21 days. Said goodbye to Gilbert; welcomed new car (still no name). Final letters from Brady. November thanks. My last letter to Brady. Presidential race; my president still never changed. Breaking Dawn pt 2. Weekend visit to Orem to see Ash. Very.Last.Letter. Poster making. Baby shower for Skye. Finished sticker poster; thanksgiving day. Yummy food, lots of family; lots of nervous/anticipation/anxiety. LOTS AND LOTS OF CRYING. Cute new outfit. Drove to the airport; saw my sweetheart for the first time in 2 years; bawled my freaken eyeballs out. (He is STILL so cute). Spent the fabulous weekend with Brady (and every night after that). Festival of Tree's with family. Went to airport to welcome home Quinn!

December - Brady is home :) First family Christmas party together; won in bingo. Brady's mom engaged. Made my airport video. Jessica's Birthday. Morg's reception. Brady's homecoming talk. Temple Square with Ziegler's. Ward christmas party. Hanging with friends. Lots and LOTS of Fringe watching. Ice skating. Started the BOM again. My family Christmas party. Quinn's homecoming talk. MoTab Christmas concert. Cousin Justin's homecoming talk. Christmas Eve with Brady/my fam. Christmas night with Brady. Andy's birthday. Great things to come at work :)

And tonight, Brady and I will just spend our time together and watch 2012 go and never come back, while we welcome 2013 with open arms :) There is a lot in store this new year for me, Brady and the both of us together. We're really excited and we look forward to what the Lord has planned for us. I'm so grateful I can finally start this new year with Brady home, he is such a blessing in my life and by far the best thing to happen in 2012. I am so happy with my life right now :)

Happy New Year!

Study

As of today, Brady has been home for 1 month! :) I can't believe it.
Everything is going great, and we're still in love :) We're both getting ready for school in the Spring and Brady is still looking for a job. But we're happy.

Now, onto my post.
Study.
Studying.
Studying.
Funny word that is.

I'm not going to talk about studying as in school studying, but as in scripture, gospel, etc. study. I've always felt like i've struggled with this. I watch everyone around me "study" the scriptures and it's just like, how? How do you study? I know to pray before and after, I know to write down notes, I know to highlight things and ask questions. Cause i've done all of that before, and maybe I'm just trying to look for a better "study" instead of looking at how I'm already studying.

"It would be impossible to learn the lessons the scriptures contain by reading them only one time through or studying selected verses in a class." - Julie B. Beck

I've read the Book of Mormon multiple times, I've read D&C about 2 or 3 times, and I only read the Bible when I was in high school, and I'm scared to tackle that again, even though I really want to. I feel like I always just read the BOM instead of actually reading it. Ever since I did the Read With Me Challenge with my friend Becca, I've always felt like I can keep tackling the Book of Mormon in any way. That was a great challenge and I'll always remember it as one of the best readings of the BOM, EVER. It helped me so much when I was in such a crazy position in my life at the time. And Becca is seriously such an inspiration. Her love for this book is AMAZING. I've really never seen someone love this book, (and express it) so much in my whole life. And I'm not just saying that because I'm focusing on her, I really love how much dedication she has to this book. Her testimony strengthens me and I know that I could use that example to lift and strengthen myself. She's mastered reading the book at least a billion times but we got to talking about creating another BOM challenge, something exciting like the RWM challenge, but I couldn't really think of anything. I've got a few in mind but I feel like I'm still waiting for the correct challenge to start. I really wanna start the BOM with a goal in mind instead of just reading it.

Before Brady left he got me this HUGE Book of Mormon for my birthday :) And I absolutely love it! So I think I'm going to use that, also the Red Headed Hostess has AMAZING journals!!! I have a chapters journal, topics journal and the names of Christ journal. They're all about 13$ each and they're so wonderful. I wish I had the time and patience to make my journals look like hers though.. Anyway, I think I'm going to use this wonderfully HUGE BOM and my chapters journal, alongside this and just figure out what to study as I read along. I've come up with a few ideas that I've gathered from others and just some personal goals I have for myself:

• Read 18 pages a day, and read three times in three months.
• Read it 3 times before the end of the year.
• Read it and when you come across (insert word/topic here) write down your feelings about it or what that chapter taught you on that (word/topic).
• Label each page with a topic of the chapter.
• Learn to truly pray about what I'm reading and what I don't understand, etc.
• Journal everything in a way I will understand, with no expectations of "studying and/or learning" perfectly. I will learn how Heavenly Father intends me to learn, and I need to not set such a high expectation that I must know everything.
• Continue to attend Institute.
• Color code words and/or verses/topics
• Highlight my favorite verses, take notes and give my Book of Mormon to someone.

Basically I'm all over the place with this, but I'm really excited. Some of my future goals for the new year and myself is to study the Book of Mormon better, journal better (and blogging) and really learn to develop the habit and relationship of turning to the Gospel first priority, instead of right before bed. I just recently read a post from a sweet friend of mine, and she mentioned that she woke up every single morning at 6:00 to read her scriptures, to make sure she stayed close to God every single day, and she knew she couldn't make it through the day unless she had done so. I felt the spirit when I read those words, testify to me that it's true. If I just take even 15 minutes, 30 minutes or an hour of my day to focus on my relationship with my Heavenly Father and to learn more of the scriptures, I will be blessed. And I've known that my whole life, but I love when the Spirit testifies something you already know. It's just like, the Spirit just keeps on reminding me of positive promises and blessings I'll receive if I do so.

Anyway, this post is a lot longer than expected but I'm just really excited about my goals and I wanted to share with everyone how wonderful and happy I feel about this new goal I have to read the Book of Mormon however I end up reading it. I love reading the Book of Mormon every single time with a brand new book. So maybe I'll start reading them, and then giving them away to people, or just add them to my shelf of BOM's.

Also you should read it too :)
Wanna read it with me? That's okay too :)
Want to learn more of the BOM? Just go here :)



(P.S. This is my 500th post. Whaaa???)

Thank You

I have some time to kill this morning because lately, my body really loves waking up really early. I decided I would take the time to write my thank you's out to everyone. Sorry I've been a little M.I.A. I'm just trying to soak it all up before I have to go back to work and school (school only has 2 more weeks.. YAY!)

To You: 
Thank you. To everyone. To you, my mom and dad, my siblings, my best friends, and my mg's. To my church leaders and anyone who knew what it felt like to have a mish out. Thank you to those who support me and Brady. And of course, to the waiter haters, thank you ;) I'm grateful for the endless hugs, and smiles. For the endless "I can't wait for you to be with him again!"'s and the "You two are so cute, so happy for you!"'s. For reading my depressing, sad, I miss-my-boyfriend-but-here's-what-i've-been-doing-for-two-years blog. Thank you for getting excited when I got a letter or a package. Thank you. Seriously. I could not have made it without a lot of you. Especially my best friend Abby. She has helped me so much through this wait, and everything else in between. She's my solid rock and support and she's my best friend for life. Nothing will ever tear us apart. Nothing can separate us. Abby, thank you for your kind and patient heart. Thanks for listening to me talk about Brady endlessly. It really means a lot.
Thank you to my roommates. For being there for me when Brady first left, and continuously throughout his mission. Mini m&m's will always make me think of you. And I can't wait for you all to meet him :) He's a sweetheart and you'll love him!
Thank you to my sweet friend Jenna. She really helped me live while Brady was gone. I did more things the whole two years with her, than on my own. We had some really great times and I'll always miss that. But I hold those memories dear to my heart. She's so sweet and her baby girl is gorgeous. Looks just like her mommy :) Love you Jenna, "It's the best out there!"
Thank you to Brady's family as well. For loving and supporting me while Brady was gone. It's nice to have his family accept me, even while he was gone. It's hard being alone and not having him here, but their kindness helped me survive it. I love all of them very much, even the little kiddos that I'm excited to get to know more.
Thank you to Granny. For sending me his emails every single Monday without fail. I always knew at 8 AM I would have a notification on my phone that said, "England." And if I didn't receive it, whether it was at all or later in the day, thank you for calling me to make sure I knew you didn't forget about me. You are so kind and I'm grateful for your caring heart.
Thank you to everyone.

To My MG's:
Thank you. I used to be apart of the W4AM group on Facebook which included over 1,000 girls. I left it around the year mark. I just didn't feel that support was for me anymore. But that group helped me through the first couple months and I'm grateful. I've met some of the most amazing girls through that group. The majority of the girls that I met when I first started have all "graduated" and lives are started. I'm so grateful to all of you who answered my questions, or just simply said, "I know what you're going through." I never met every single girl that I met online, in real life, but the majority of them have become some of my very best friends :) To the parties, of talking really loud, and laughing, and talking of our boyfriends, the areas they're in and all that they've been through. What it's like to get letters from them, packages and how much longer we all have left to wait. From becoming friends with all of them on Facebook, to having dinner in real life. Jamming out to Justin Bieber, to making slideshows of our boyfriends. These girls have been with me through thick and thin. I'm so grateful to them.

To Brady:
Thank you for being patient with me. This hasn't been easy on either of us, but knowing we have each other makes it all worth it. The numerous letters I've sent, thank you for loving me anyway. I know I seemed crazy, probably majority of the time, but it's okay, because you love me still. You still accept me. I can't tell you how grateful I am for your endless love and support, even so far away. You were focused on so many things, all of them so very dear and important to the Lord, but you still found time to tell me hi, that you love me and that you're doing okay. All those sweet gifts, surprise emails and the little things you did to prepare me before you left, are some of my very favorite things. I cannot believe how much you truly cared about me before you left, and even while you were gone. You were and still are an amazing missionary. You may not wear the name tag anymore, but your missionary work does not end at the releasing. It goes on forever and ever, and I'm so grateful to have an example like you. Someone who inspires me to be better about my studies, my prayers, and the Christlike attributes I should strive to obtain. Thank you for serving a mission, and for making that choice on your own. You could have chosen so many different ways in life, and not that any of those are wrong, I'm just really glad you chose to serve a mission. It has changed you in such a great way, yet you're still the same Brady I love. I love you and I'm so grateful to have a blessing like you in my life.


And finally,
To all MG's; current and/or pre-mission:
Hold on. Do not let go. If this is a decision you have made, stick to it. A lot of people have asked me if I have dated and waited, and I can honestly say yes. I've gone on dates, and seriously dated someone. I won't go into details, but going on dates helped me meet people and have friends. It was a great time to grow and learn, and it just so happens Institute really helps you :) Attend institute, make it a priority. I did, and I found myself graduated from Institute. Who knew that was possible? Anyway, stick to your church meetings. Go to every.single.hour. even if you're sitting alone. Stay strong in your relationship with your Father in Heaven. Make prayer a first priority, not a last resort. A Book of Mormon that is falling apart, usually belongs to someone who isn't. Hold that book dear to your heart, it will get you through everything. Consistently read your patriarchal blessing. It's purpose is to help you on your way in life, and it definitely comforted me when I needed it most. Stay close to family and friends. Stay busy. I cannot stress that enough. Staying busy helps the days go by faster, and soon, you'll find yourself at the airport.

Don't give up. Even when the nights are hard. When you cry yourself to sleep because your heart aches for a hug. A simple hug. When you didn't get a letter, or haven't gotten one in a month or more. When you think he's forgotten you because other girls are getting a package every month, or 7 letters in 1 week. When you meet waiter haters, and you get the same statements from them as everyone else, "A lot can happen in two years," or "You're really going to wait for him?" and you proudly, yet feeling somewhat lonely, say, "yes." Because you love your missionary, don't give up. When you meet other boys, and they either shun you because you have a missionary, don't care and still want to date you, don't give up. You'll meet boys who are simply nice, and want to be your friend. Just remember to make a decision if things start getting serious with someone, because someone will get hurt. You will, and either your mish or the other guy will. Pray about it. Just don't give up.

They come home ladies. They truly do. No matter all the tears, sleepless nights, the countless "I-miss-you"'s, the, "can't-wait-to-hear-from-you"'s in all the letters you handwrite weekly. All the emails that talk of his mission, the pictures that are shared. It is all worth it. 

You will survive this waiting. And it is possible to wait for someone and/or something for 2 years (or more). You can hold strong, and still be in love, in a long-distance relationship. You will meet people who won't support you, but you always meet one more person who does. One more person who understands, one more person to hug and comfort you. Keep going, stay strong, and stay close to the Lord. The wait does come to an end, you just have to be patient, and understanding. Your sweetheart will come home. You will get to hold their hand again, maybe even kiss them ;) You will get to see their smiling, shining face. You will get to know what it feels like to be with them again. They won't be going anywhere when they get home, and it's the best feeling ever. You can do this. You can make it. My success story is just an addition to the thousands out there.

Don't give up ladies, you can make it. :)



Again, thank you to everyone for your love and support. I appreciate it, and it isn't forgotten.

November Thanks 2

Sometimes I have a hard day. I feel selfish and pity for myself. And remembering to be grateful can really be humbling.

1. I am very grateful for my Savior, and the loving peace He brings to me. I have been struggling these past couple days. Doubts, fears, stressing, confusion, anxiety, and anything else in the book. I have really felt the need for my Savior. For just a hug. For just a quiet whispering that He is there, listening and watching over me. Today, as I sat in sacrament meeting, I knew the only way to find comfort and make it through this week and next, is to turn to the Lord. I prayed today, and I read this talk during sacrament meeting and my heart was full. I am so grateful to be a member of this church.
2. Today is Veteran's Day! I'm so grateful for those who have served, in any way, and those who are currently serving. I am grateful for those family members who are currently serving. I truly am grateful for their bravery and dedication to serve.
3. I am very grateful for the ability to write. To use my hands, and my mind to write letters to my sweetheart. I sent my last letter yesterday, and it was so bittersweet. Letters are powerful, and so meaningful. Letters of all kinds are the best. I love getting mail :) (Unless it's a bill of course!) But I am truly grateful Brady and I were able to communicate through letters. I will cherish them for the rest of my life.
4. I am very grateful for my dad. For all of his hard work. I don't say it as often as I should but I really am grateful for his dedication to my family. For always supporting us, and giving me such a wonderful life. I am grateful for the home, in which he works so hard to keep. I am grateful for the things in which I have been given, but I am especially grateful for his love for me. There are so many different routes he could have taken as a father, but the one he chose was love. I love my dad so much. He is one of my greatest best friends. I couldn't have asked for a better father. Thank you dad, you truly are appreciated.
5. I am grateful for my nephews today :) For their sweet smiles, and their hugs, and even their cries. I love sharing my cereal and watching countless episodes of blues clues and dinosaur train. I'm grateful for Evan and for the patience he teaches me, for the love he gives endlessly and for the laughter he is ALWAYS sharing. I love Sawyer. For his sweet smile. It tears me up when I picture it. When he looks over, and you say his name, he focuses and the moment he realizes who you are, the most heart-melting smile grows on his cute face. These adorable boys mean the absolute world to me, and I'm so grateful they're in my life.
6. I am grateful for my cute scooter boy :) He sure is getting old, and is constantly barking and we're always telling him to shut up. But I am so glad, that when nobody is home, he is always and I mean always excited to see me. He gives me countless "kisses" and snuggles with me when I don't even ask him to. The love from a dog is truly unconditional. I'm so grateful we have always had Scooter. He has helped me through a lot of depression I had in high school. I love him very much.
7. I'm very grateful for all of my friends. Sometimes I get really down on myself because I feel I am not a good enough friend. I feel like I bail on so many people or I don't stay in touch enough with those who could really use a friend. I feel like I'm constantly forgetting people. But I'm not. You are all in my heart, and even if I can't be with you physically, you're in my prayers. I appreciate our friendship and all the memories we've ever shared. You mean a lot to me and I will never forget you.
8. This one is silly, but I am grateful for Christmas time. It is seriously the most wonderful time of the year. I love the snow, I love the endless Christmas music on the radio, that I jam out to in my car. I love Christmas tree's and wreaths. I love reading gift ideas on pinterest. I love the Spirit of giving, and most importantly, the birth of our Savior. This Christmas is going to be really special for me, but having grown up in a house where Christmas music was played literally all year long, I'm grateful for such a happy season :) Happy Holidays and be safe everyone! :)
9. Today I am grateful for Brady's family. They really are some of the sweetest people I've ever met. Their support has really helped me through these 2 years. They've always been so kind, and including me has got to be one of the greatest, and means a lot, especially since Brady isn't here. I love family. Family is a real big thing for me, and to be welcomed by them makes me feel like I have one big great family :) I thank them today and always for their love and kindness. It is never forgotten.
10. I am grateful for my job. It is great for me, and I love it. I love meeting new people every day, including the not so nice members. I'm grateful for the knowledge I have received from working their, and the friends I have made. I'm grateful I have a job in these hard times, and I hope it continues to stay that way.
11. I am grateful to be me. I am grateful to be who I am. I am grateful that even with my struggles, I can feel. Being me has been quite the journey but I am grateful that my father entrusted me with this body, this spirit and this life. To take care of it, and love it. It's not always rainbows and daisies, but even then, being me is wonderful. I love my life and I'm so grateful for it :)

The House of the Lord

I went to the Temple today, and it was wonderful! There was nobody there. Well of course, the workers but I was in and out in about 30 minutes. I love going to the Temple. I sure do miss going with my friends from school though.

When I got there, the man at the door greeted me and said, "Welcome to the House of the Lord." Now I'm not going to make this a big deal, but nobody has ever said that when I've walked in. They've always said, "Welcome to the Temple." which is basically the same thing, but there is just a different meaning and tone, and feeling to the words, "House of the Lord." When I was done, I walked up the stairs and the man had thanked me for my service. And that has never happened. Today was about service. It wasn't about going to find some big answer in my life. It wasn't about going to mark it off my weekly list. It was about doing service. It was about doing baptisms and confirmations for those who have yet to receive it. It was about the House of the Lord. And I'm so grateful that I get to be apart of that. That I get to go inside his beautiful Houses. His Spirit is there, and I love it. I took some pictures, so I'll share them, but I'm very glad I made a trip to the Temple today :) I can't wait to go with my sweetheart!

November Thanks 1

Last year, I did some posts on my gratitude for the month of November, so I decided I would do it again, and write each Sunday, and depending on the date, I'd write that many things I was grateful for. Maybe I'll add more :) I should do this more often, but it was fun last year! :) Plus, this month is just fabulous ;)

1. I am very thankful today, for Relief Society. We had a wonderful lesson on the Atonement and using it in our everyday lives. Not just for repentance of sins, but for healing of sorrow, getting through trials, help with forgiving ourselves and others, and many more things that came to mind. I'm so grateful for my Savior, for his atoning sacrifice. For the fact, that he is living proof that he truly knows how I'm feeling when I am have a bad day. The Atonement is so wonderful, and I'm so grateful for it.
2. I'm very grateful for my family. I have spent so much time with them, and I love every second. I love hanging out with my sisters, and I especially love being with my nephews. I love the laughter we share, and all the good times and bad times we stand through together. I am so blessed to have the family that I do, and I couldn't be more thankful.
3. I'm thankful for movies. Such a silly thing to be thankful for, but I am. I'm so happy that movies are created to help us be entertained and happy in life. It's fun getting together with friends and/or family to watch movies, or even go to a theater. I cannot wait to watch all the movies Brady missed, with him. I am excited for Christmas movies, and I'm so grateful for the joy they bring.
4. I'm very grateful for my education. I've spent a lot of time on homework today. More than I usually do (which is pretty sad). But I am grateful that I've gotten this far and that I'm so close to graduating, and starting my BS. I really want to go to the University of Utah. I'm so grateful that I live and have a life that allows me to receive such education, that will last me a lifetime.

What are you thankful for? :)

Carving Pumpkins 2012

Looks like everyone carved pumpkins tonight :) I love Halloween, but is it sad that I'm glad it isn't as big of a holiday as Christmas?? I cannot wait for Christmas! I'm so excited!! Anyway, back to Halloween. We had family over tonight to have sloppy-joes and carve pumpkins. I haven't had a sloppy-joe since I was prolly 10 years old.

I really don't like carving pumpkins. It just kind of grosses me out, and the stuff makes my skin itch, so I could be semi-allergic to pumpkin guts ;)
(I'll just keep that as my excuse).

Evan was terrified of pumpkin guts, he just kept saying (well, what we could make of his almost-2-year-old language) "gross!" Haha, and just pointed, and each time we had him touch it he would pull back and wipe his hand on his shirt. Hahaha, it was funny. But he loved stabbing the pumpkins with the little poker, and helping everyone. He's just such a cute kid and I love spending time with him. My sister and brother-in-law came over and they joined in and made some awesome pumpkins. My mom decided we had one more pumpkin for me to do, so I chose to paint it. And it was definitely the runt of the patch. It was all deformed and so I decided that part of it look like it was an old person without teeth (sucked-in mouth). But as I painted it, I decided it looked like a space muppet from sesame street :)

We had a lot of fun and I'm really sad today is over. I love being with my family :) It is so much fun! Plus, I got to hangout with my favorite boys.

I hope you all have a wonderful and safe Halloween :)

What Got Me Through

I'm having a hard time tonight, and my hands just don't write as fast as they type, so I'm sorry if you're all sick of hearing about this, but I want to get this out somewhere.

It hit me really hard tonight. I was doing fine all day :) And then......it was like I got shot in the heart. I'm just sitting in math class, trying to pay attention, and I just start crying. Half because I'm super emotional this week, but half because I really haven't allowed myself to cry today. Not that I think I should cry every year, but I am strong, and I thought I was a lot stronger, but I still feel the same. I still feel the same pain. The numbness. The guilt. The grief. It's all there. I still really need to work through some stuff, I guess.

Tonight, I decided to go through some stuff that helped me get through my senior year. Yes, I pulled out the journal I've had kept away for 2 years. I pulled out the folder that contained my Loss/Grieving Group papers/information, and I pulled out my EFY notebook (I do every year).

I opened my folder from the group I was apart of in high school, cause I just wanted some comfort. And the first thing I saw, was the letter President Monson's secretary sent to my college ward bishop (when I was down at Snow). Oh how I cried and cried when I got that letter...

I flipped through some of the things people had shared like music, movies, poems, books, and quotes to help us for a good laugh, or during a good cry. And tonight, I'm definitely having a good cry. I then came across the letter I wrote. This was by far (next to Brady leaving, of course) the toughest thing I've ever had to do.

My school counselors made us write letters to the loved one(s) we had lost. So, that was pretty easy, I had a lot on my mind and I wanted to get all of it out, as if I was telling him. But they threw in a twist. Something unexpected. Something I've never done before. On the other side of the paper, they wanted us to write a response to ourselves from that person. "What would they say to you? How are they feeling?" I remember. I just started crying, and tonight, I cried as I turned my paper over to read his response. I just pictured him telling me this.

Oh how I want to hug him so badly. I've tried being strong for a really long time, but tonight just wins. And that's okay, I want to remember Andy, and tomorrow will be a better day. A new day :) I'm so grateful to my high school counselor, who got me through EVERYTHING. And I truly mean that. I want to be her. I want to be what she is, for kids in high school. I want to make a difference and have a chance to change someones life.

this is so hard. and I hope nobody ever has to experience this, even though death is apart of human life. just remember you matter, you are loved by many, including a Father in Heaven, who loves you more than anyone ever could. You are important, you are wanted here. TWLOHA ♥

tonight, i'll finish with some Tear Soup,

"Some days when you're making tear soup it's even hard to breathe. Some days you feel like running away. You just hope a better day comes along soon. And then comes one of the hardest parts of making tear soup.
"It's when you decide it may be okay to eat something instead of soup all the time.
"The next morning Grandy was cleaning up, Chester asked her if she was done making tear soup.
"Well, I don't think you actually ever finish."


over and out.

3 Years

I thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday, and days before that too. I think of you in silence, I often speak your name. All I have are memories, and your picture in a frame. Your memory is my keepsake with which I’ll never part. God has you in His keeping, I have you in my heart.

If Roses grow in Heaven, Lord please pick a bunch for me. Place them in Andy's arms, and tell him they're from me. Tell him I love him and miss him. And when he turns to smile, place a kiss upon his cheek, and hold him for a while. Because remembering him is easy, I do it every day. But there's an ache within my heart, because I'm missing him today.

Thinking of you on this day :)

Missing you as always,

but I can't wait to see you again someday.

Watch over us.

I love you Andy!

I Finished

I finished the Book of Mormon today. It has taken me a while. I did the Read With Me challenge with my friend Becca, but that ended in 2010.... I picked it back up (after sadly getting out of habit of reading it) towards the end of the semester in 2011... and I just barely finished it today. I can't believe it took me that long, but I'm glad I did it. I wanted to read it not only again, but also before Brady got home. And I did that with 29 days left to spare! :)

Many of you know, well... prolly not, unless you read my blog. But anyways, you know that I've been having a hard time coping with the fact that Brady is coming home. I've been going insane. I don't sleep at night, I can't eat I'm so nervous. And it is literally all I think about. But during this reading, I found only 2 different scripture passages that really stood out to me these two years. The whole book is great, I'm not saying that it isn't, but I couldn't help but know these scriptures were answers to my prayers, and just plain comfort.

Ether 12:6-7. I like these two verses, but it's the end of verse 6 and all of 7 that really got me thinking. I even went to the temple the next day, and I couldn't stop thinking about verse 6.
"...faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith."
I cannot get over that. I have read that verse in my life, at least a million times, and something about reading it this time around just really hits home.
"For it was by faith that Christ showed himself unto our fathers, after he had risen from the dead; and he showed not himself unto them until after they had faith in him; wherefore, it must needs be that some had faith in him, for he showed himself not unto the world."
I keep having all these "what if's" and they're keeping me from sleeping, eating, wanting to do anything, etc. This scripture brings me comfort because I cannot control anything right now. I have to wait until Brady is home. This is a trial of my faith. This last month is a trial of my faith. These last two years have been a trial of my faith.

I'm lacking faith in my Heavenly Father. I know He is there. I know He comforts me, and that He is listening to my ever-so-earnest prayers. I feel so alone, and sometimes I'm not sure if I'm receiving answers. Sometimes I'm not sure he is really listening. Even at the age of 20 I still get that way sometimes. But it's always going to be a constant effort, put forth by me, to show my Heavenly Father my faith, and trust in Him. I cannot just have faith one day, and then I'm good for life. No, it is every.single.day. That is something this scripture has taught me. You have to have faith. You have to trust. You have to know and remember that God will not forsake you. He will not leave you comfortless, and unanswered. I do not believe God would listen to our prayers when we ask if something is right or wrong, or if we just plain need guidance, and then just sit there and watch us suffer and try to figure it out on our own. He is there.

One last scripture to share, just for the sake of happiness and comfort.
Moroni 9:25-26.
"My son (or daughter), be faithful in Christ; and may not the things which I have written grieve thee, to weigh thee down unto death; but may Christ lift thee up, and may his sufferings and death, and the showing his body unto our fathers, and his mercy and long-suffering, and the hope of his glory and of eternal life, rest in your mind forever."
"And may the grace of God the Father, whose throne is high in the heavens, and our Lord Jesus Christ, who sitteth on the right hand of his power, until all things shall become subject unto him, be, and abide with you forever. Amen."
Just so much power. Straight up.

I'm so grateful this was one of the passages I read when finishing the book today. I have a strong testimony of this gospel, and this book. Moroni 9:25-26 is so comforting. I need to keep the hope of his glory and of eternal life in my mind forever. I need not forget that I will one day be with Him again. I cannot imagine my life without the gospel of Jesus Christ. I'm so grateful every day that I'm a member. That I belong. That I am a Daughter of a Heavenly King. This book is true. I believe in it. I stand by it. I am a witness of its teachings. This can never be destroyed. It can never be taken away. For this is God's work. This is God's time. And I am here to help, always. In His Sacred Name, Amen.

And now, we start over...

1 Nephi 1:1..

Here I come! :)

Wheeler Farm 5K

My friend Becca had posted a link on FB a while ago about a 5K and Wheeler Farm, and I'm so inspired by all her running and her love/desire to run that I thought I would do the 5K. And today, I did just that! I didn't do as well as I hoped, I felt pressured the whole time. I just kept telling myself that right now, it wasn't about time for me, it wasn't about fast or slow, it was just about finishing the race. It helped my mental negativity when the people standing along the way would cheer for me. Other than that, I found my brain trying to make excuses to let me walk.

It was a good race! GREAT run! The course was SUPER easy!!! And I just really enjoyed it :) I feel very proud of myself. Having not prepared like I should have, and not having ran something like that since high school, I feel I did great regardless of my time and asthma. I'm so grateful my parents were there to support me! It was so nice meeting Becca and Missy! They are such sweet people, and it was fun to do that with them! Hopefully next year I'll do more races, cause I certainly enjoy them (at least when I'm done running)! :)

Love Never Fails You

This is it. This is for me. This is my love. This is my life. This is my blessing. This is my journey.

It's all for me. I've been given every single thing in my life, and I deserve it all. I truly have been through so much, and I have been blessed even greater than what I have been through. It's true when they say, the Lord will not take something from your life without replacing it with something greater.

I remember when I dated this boy that I thought I loved in high school. There was a lot of drama, and heartbreak, and cute texts, and fights, and everything in between. I didn't think there was a greater anything than the guy I had in my life at the moment... but little did I know the Lord had something in store for me, much greater than I could have ever dreamed of.

Being with Brady has made me realize what it really means to love someone. To want everything and more for someone. To look at someone in the eyes, and tell them they deserve everything they want, they deserve the world. I have never emotionally, spiritually and physically cared about someone so much, as I have Brady.

Yes, I know I say this a lot, and yes I know I talk about Brady and express my love for him a lot. I know.

Tonight I can literally feel the Spirit engulf my heart. I can truly say my Father is with me tonight as my heart longs for my sweetheart. He knows of my wants, needs and desires. He knows my pains, weaknesses and frustrations. He knows me better than anyone else. Which is exactly why He knows I deserve Brady. I need Brady. I cannot continue my journey back to Him without Brady. I cannot imagine that.

Brady is what I need. He helps me through my struggles. He comforts me, even being in England. These past two years he has done nothing but make sure I am happy and well taken care of. Nobody has ever done that for me. Nobody has cared so much about the future as much as Brady has. Nobody has been more desiring of the Temple than Brady. Nobody is Brady.

"Think the best of each other.

Especially those you say you love.

Assume the good and doubt the bad.

True love beareth all things,

Believeth all things, Hopeth all things,

Endureth all things."

-Jeffrey R. Holland

My heart is so full tonight. It is so full of love for Brady. I would sacrifice everything for him. It is the most amazing feeling when you can say that to someone and you feel your heart jump, and your stomach flutter because the truth that you hear in those words means the world. I love Brady so very very much. Some may understand, others may not. And I obviously do not have a problem letting people know.

I just wanted to say how grateful I am for my Father in Heaven. For constantly listening to my prayers at night, some full of tears, some full of happiness I almost can't stay on my knees. I'm so grateful for his constant guidance, and knowing I am His Daughter. I am so grateful for this gospel, and for the knowledge I have that families can be together forever. I'm so grateful for the wonderful examples I have around me. It really means a lot.

I miss my sweetheart so much, but it won't be long before we're reunited, and I hope everyone is just dying for that day to come like I am ;) Love you very very much Brady. With my whole heart, to the moon and back. Forever.

Love is not proud. Love does not boast. Love after all, matters the most. Love does not run. Love does not hide. Love does not keep locked inside. Love is the river that flows through. Love never fails you. Love will sustain. Love will provide. Love will not cease at the end of time. Love will protect. Love always hopes. Love still believes when you don't. Love is the arms that are holding you. Love never fails you. When my heart won't make a sound. When I can't turn back around. When the sky is falling down. Nothing is greater than this, greater than this. Love is right here. Love is alive. Love is the way. The truth, the life. Love is the river than flows through. Love is the arms that are holding you. Love is the place you will fly to. Love never fails you.

Just Let Me Cry

"When I agreed that God could put this heart inside me, I understood that there would be a chance that it would break. But I know He knows exactly how I'm feeling, and I know in time He'll take the pain away, but for now just let me cry. 'Till every tear has fallen. Don't ask when, and don't ask why." - Hilary Weeks

I have felt so close to the Lord today. I love Him very much. I am so grateful to be His Daughter and for the knowledge I have that I will be with Him again one day. I'm so grateful for my friends and family, and my amazing boyfriend who keep me going to this day. This song is so deep and meaningful, and whatever I face in life, I know the Savior stands beside me. My testimony has indeed been strengthened today. ♥ I have a few struggles going on in my heart right now, and I simply feel nobody understands. I am feeling so overwhelmed by the Spirit today. Every time I go to cry, or go to complain, etc. I feel at a loss for words. Nothing will come out. I keep thinking about my Father in Heaven. I feel His love surrounding me. I know He is here with me.

"I have felt joy, the kind that makes my heart wanna sing. So my tears are not a surrender, I'll feel that way again. But for now, for this moment, just let me cry. I know it's hard to see, but the pain I feel isn't going away today." - Hilary Weeks

This song is beautiful and has the exact words to how I'm feeling today. Sometimes I feel really bad about complaining to others. Or talking to them about my struggles, even if it's been days, weeks, months, years since the actual event. I'm a very attachable person. I'm fragile. But I'm strong. Yes, I hold onto things. Yes I have a hard time moving on. Yes, I struggle. But I'm human. God never said it would be easy. He only said it would be worth it. I'm grateful it's not easy. I'm grateful I have these trials. I'm grateful I am becoming stronger. I'm grateful that I'm being shaped into a strong Daughter of God. I love my Father in Heaven. I wasn't sure how to post this today. Or if I should even post at all. But I forget it's my blog, and I can share what I want. And today, I'm sharing the tender mercies of the Lord. I'm sharing that He didn't leave me standing alone. He was and still is with me through this day when I didn't think I could make it on my own. What a humbling day it has been, and I pray to have this feeling always. I am so blessed and so lucky.

I testify that our Father in Heaven loves us. I know He does. I know He is watching over us every single day. When we feel nobody, and I'm talking, not a single.soul. understands how we're feeling. He does. He truly does. He is our Father. If anyone knows us best, it's Him. We need to turn to him in times of trial. For He is our escape. He is our way to happiness. He is our way to better days. Our moment and time is now. And who better to walk with than Him? I love my Heavenly Father. So very, very much. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

"I WILL NOT FAIL THEE" - Derek Hegsted