I Finished

I finished the Book of Mormon today. It has taken me a while. I did the Read With Me challenge with my friend Becca, but that ended in 2010.... I picked it back up (after sadly getting out of habit of reading it) towards the end of the semester in 2011... and I just barely finished it today. I can't believe it took me that long, but I'm glad I did it. I wanted to read it not only again, but also before Brady got home. And I did that with 29 days left to spare! :)

Many of you know, well... prolly not, unless you read my blog. But anyways, you know that I've been having a hard time coping with the fact that Brady is coming home. I've been going insane. I don't sleep at night, I can't eat I'm so nervous. And it is literally all I think about. But during this reading, I found only 2 different scripture passages that really stood out to me these two years. The whole book is great, I'm not saying that it isn't, but I couldn't help but know these scriptures were answers to my prayers, and just plain comfort.

Ether 12:6-7. I like these two verses, but it's the end of verse 6 and all of 7 that really got me thinking. I even went to the temple the next day, and I couldn't stop thinking about verse 6.
"...faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith."
I cannot get over that. I have read that verse in my life, at least a million times, and something about reading it this time around just really hits home.
"For it was by faith that Christ showed himself unto our fathers, after he had risen from the dead; and he showed not himself unto them until after they had faith in him; wherefore, it must needs be that some had faith in him, for he showed himself not unto the world."
I keep having all these "what if's" and they're keeping me from sleeping, eating, wanting to do anything, etc. This scripture brings me comfort because I cannot control anything right now. I have to wait until Brady is home. This is a trial of my faith. This last month is a trial of my faith. These last two years have been a trial of my faith.

I'm lacking faith in my Heavenly Father. I know He is there. I know He comforts me, and that He is listening to my ever-so-earnest prayers. I feel so alone, and sometimes I'm not sure if I'm receiving answers. Sometimes I'm not sure he is really listening. Even at the age of 20 I still get that way sometimes. But it's always going to be a constant effort, put forth by me, to show my Heavenly Father my faith, and trust in Him. I cannot just have faith one day, and then I'm good for life. No, it is every.single.day. That is something this scripture has taught me. You have to have faith. You have to trust. You have to know and remember that God will not forsake you. He will not leave you comfortless, and unanswered. I do not believe God would listen to our prayers when we ask if something is right or wrong, or if we just plain need guidance, and then just sit there and watch us suffer and try to figure it out on our own. He is there.

One last scripture to share, just for the sake of happiness and comfort.
Moroni 9:25-26.
"My son (or daughter), be faithful in Christ; and may not the things which I have written grieve thee, to weigh thee down unto death; but may Christ lift thee up, and may his sufferings and death, and the showing his body unto our fathers, and his mercy and long-suffering, and the hope of his glory and of eternal life, rest in your mind forever."
"And may the grace of God the Father, whose throne is high in the heavens, and our Lord Jesus Christ, who sitteth on the right hand of his power, until all things shall become subject unto him, be, and abide with you forever. Amen."
Just so much power. Straight up.

I'm so grateful this was one of the passages I read when finishing the book today. I have a strong testimony of this gospel, and this book. Moroni 9:25-26 is so comforting. I need to keep the hope of his glory and of eternal life in my mind forever. I need not forget that I will one day be with Him again. I cannot imagine my life without the gospel of Jesus Christ. I'm so grateful every day that I'm a member. That I belong. That I am a Daughter of a Heavenly King. This book is true. I believe in it. I stand by it. I am a witness of its teachings. This can never be destroyed. It can never be taken away. For this is God's work. This is God's time. And I am here to help, always. In His Sacred Name, Amen.

And now, we start over...

1 Nephi 1:1..

Here I come! :)