August Birthdays

My cousin Ryan and I have always had our family birthday parties together. We're 7 years apart and I'm a few days after his birthday. It's always fun to get together with my dad's side of the family for birthdays! We went to a park, had cake and played on the slides and talked! It was nice and cool :) Happy Birthday Ry!

Rejoice in His Goodness

Does anyone else miss Hinckley as much as I do? Cause I miss his cute self a lot. I miss seeing him on TV during General Conference and when he would cry.... aweee he's just so sweet :) So I was organizing my pinterest boards (deleting all negativity) because I really need to be more positive about myself and my life. I was feeling really discouraged and frustrated and bothered tonight, and just need some humbling. That's what I'm so grateful tomorrow is Sunday :) Anyway, I came across this beautiful quote by President Hinckley:

Isn't he just so sweet?

This melted my heart when I read it.

I'm so grateful to be apart of a Church that brings me so much happiness. It just fills my heart with gratitude and humility every single day, and I'm amazing at the overwhelming feeling of love that comes my my Savior, and my Father in Heaven. I just wish the whole world could know how magnificent this gospel is, and how truly life-changing it is. I also came across this photo:

I really need to learn to do all of those things. It's like what Elder Holland says, "Don't you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. Some blessings come soon, some come late, some don't even come until Heaven. But for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come. Believe in good things to come. Trust in the Lord." I know I can do this :) I know I can be happier and start living a healthy, happy life right now :) I need to pick up my end of the rope, and trust that my Father in Heaven won't let go of the other end. :)

Late Night Ramblings

Boy do my eyes hurt.
But my head is running a million miles per minute and I can't go to sleep.

I take medicine to help me sleep because I wake up every hour during the night, and I used to notice it would make me sleepy, but lately I haven't really felt that way. It is starting to take me an hour or longer to fall asleep again :( UGH. So here I am with tired eyes and a brain that's running.

I want to get out some things on my mind.

- School. I'm nervous for school. But I'm also excited for school. My bil is in my math class, so hopefully he can help me this time around :) I am so nervous that it's going to be a hard two semesters for me, but I honestly can't believe I'm that close to being done. I've dreamed of being done with my associates since my Sophomore year in high school. 7 classes left.... I can do this!

- My job. I love my job! It has been getting so frustrating lately. I feel like I keep doing everything wrong, and now it'll take longer to move up! I really wanted to go to the loan side but now I have to wait for a position to open, and hopefully I don't have to wait for my level 5 to get one :(

- Brady. I'm so stinkin' nervous to see him again. I pretty much blogstalk a lot of people (nothing new, I prolly stalk your blog), especially former MG's. I see their married life, working and schooling and how happy they are and I just can't help but wish that was me :( I just wish it was my turn. I wish Brady were here. I prolly seem like I'm in such a rush, but I just can't help but want the blessings and happiness that I see everyone around me have. I know those things are waiting for me, my patience is just being tested heavily right now. These next 3.5 months better fly cause I'm dying.

- Wedding. Oh boy. I think about weddings a lot. I might possibly be married in the next 8 months or so... :O My goodness. Where do I even start? I don't want to without Brady, but I'm so wedding hungry. Maybe I should be a planner? Ugh. Why do I want to be married so badly? So fast? So young? Should I take my time before getting engaged? I don't think Brady would like that. I'm sure he'd propose to me right off the airplane if he could, but we might get in trouble for that.

- Being poor. Ugh. Hahahahaha the life of a college student.

- Not being able to sleep without this build-a-bear Brady got for me before he left. Like it seriously feels so awkward to sleep without it. (Deep dark secret?) I hope Brady will be able to replace him. HA!

- Should I dye my hair? Should I chop my hair? What should I do with my hair!!!!???

- What should I wear to the airport? I'm so planning this early, for who knows why. But everything about this waiting coming to an end is so surreal. I've only ever read of other stories coming to an end... I can't believe mine is about to. So... should I wear a dress? Skirt? Jeans & a tee? Sweater and jeans? Coat? (It will be winter) should I be at the airport? Oh wait. silly question. I have to be.

- Also, this book I'm reading, I'm not sure I really like it. I think I'm gonna give it 100 pages, and if I don't like it, then I won't read it. Good plan. I'm quite obsessed with reading. But I'm sooooo slow at it.

- Speaking of slow, I went running last night. It was awesome. My body is not in shape, but it felt good to get out again.

- Also, I get really bugged easily. REALLY bugged. I just want Brady and nobody else. I get so hurt and upset and bugged and then it stresses me out cause I don't want to feel so bugged and the only person that can help me and love me back is Brady. Ugh. He just needs to be home.

- Oh, one more thing, my birthday is in 4 days. Yippeeeee :)

Honestly, that's all that I can really think of typing right now. Maybe I should try sleeping again...

over and out.

Something Different

I guess I haven't really said on my blog yet, but I painted my room pink. It was kind of a big deal. My parents weren't very happy, but it makes me happy. I'm in the basement and my room was a chocolate brown. I wanted something bright, colorful and happy :] So my counselor suggested to paint it a happy color, and for some reason, I picked pink. Hahaha, but I absolutely love it. It's so warm and it brings in ALL the sunshine :]

"I still feel the sting of the pain..."

Well, as I'm putting my room back together, and picking out which frame (wayyyy too many!) to put back on my wall, and which to leave down, I finally decided to hangup my rose for Andy. I had put it on a picture frame, instead of my car just in case I got in an accident, I would always have it. I know I won't always have it hanging up for the rest of my life (maybe) but I thought, for now, I want it up. So I put it above my mirror. It's not big, and it doesn't stick out like a sore thumb, but it makes me happy to see it :]

I also found this picture album that had this quote (top right corner) next to the picture of Andy and I. It's my favorite picture. I will always love it. But it's time to be honest with myself. I don't feel heavy pain anymore. I really wished I could have seen him grow up. I wished I could have had more time with him. I'm thankful for the time God gave me, even though we couldn't make it last. I just wished I could have seen his sweet spirit turn into the amazing man I knew it wanted to be.

"It doesn't happen over night,

but you turn around and a months gone by..."

It's all different for me now. I feel peace. I feel content. I feel happy knowing I'll see him again. Very rarely do I feel like I have much to say anymore... It's almost been three years and even though some days I still feel the sting of the pain, my mind is consumed with the day of your funeral, and I ache for EFY again.. I know there are better things that you are doing now. There are better things in store. You are in so much happiness, and I find myself happy as well :]

I'm so grateful for Andy's family and how kind they always are to me. Even though we don't really know each other all that well, it still really means a lot to me that they are so kind and stay in touch. I can't imagine never knowing them. Andy was such a great friend, and had such a huge impact on my life, I just want to thank them. You are amazing people, and I thank you for sending Andy to EFY and giving me that opportunity to meet such an incredible person. He truly is looking over us and smiles :]

I love you Andy!

God Be With You Until We Meet Again...

AAMonkey

This is my cute friend Ashley. We've been friends since 7th grade. I can even remember the day I met her. We were sitting in gym class and we were saying our names and something about us. I was last and she said her name and that she liked to dance. I remember thinking that it was weird, we shared the same name AND we both danced. Hahaha, we ended up being partners in that class for the majority of the sports we played, and we were bff's ever since. We created the name AAMonkey (for who knows why) and we were inseparable that year.

8th & 9th grade came along (AAPunk & AAInga) and we were still best friends but started to part. We would hangout, go swimming, have sleepovers, go to birthday parties, say hi in the hallways at school. She'll always be one of my very best friends.

Even though we grew apart when high school started, I will always cherish our memories. I love you Ash! One of my favorite memories will always be when we were swimming in your backyard, and your step-sister (at the time) had a duck floaty and I was using it and it started to deflate and I was pretty sure it wasn't me and we weren't sure how it happened but we were so scared for her to find out, so you had your step-dad (at the time) tell her so she wouldn't be so mad with us. She ended up being mad and I think she cried... hahahahaha sooo funny. Seriously. And of course, the pictures below. Those glasses were awesome!

Today was a special day for Ash. She married her best friend. And I'm so happy for her! His name is Brady too! Hahaha how funny, we both ended up with Brady's... hahahaha anyway, she looked so pretty, and happy, and I'm so proud of her for making this decision and knowing her and Brady will be together forever. It was raining, but they all say it's good luck right? Anyway, Ash, you looked beautiful and I'm so happy for you! I'll never forget our friendship :) Love you so much!

My 65th Letter

"Dear Sweetheart..."

"Did you know that I love you? You're the cutest! :*"

"Thank you so much for the pictures Babe! I love seeing how pretty you are :* Simply gorgeous!"




Can I just tell you how I just really love him??? :)
He just makes me smile. Constantly.
♥

20 Months Down

4 Months Left.

Can you believe it?

24 months ago, Brady and I were anxiously waiting as he turned in his papers, and about three weeks later, he received his call in the mail. I can't believe it's been that long already. Time surely has flown these last 6 months. The first year was the slowest and hardest part of the entire mission and I'm so glad I only have 4 months left. I'm like... just in shock that I even get to say he comes home in 4 months.

It has been so frustrating these last couple months. I've missed him so much AND have been so excited to see him. It's so hard knowing how close I am, but still so far away. I'm on my last semester of school and all my classes are at night, and he'll get home a few weeks before the semester ends, so that makes me happy a little.. I'm just frustrated because I just want it to be my turn. I'm just ready to be done waiting. I'm ready to be with him again. I'm ready for it to be over. All the lonely nights, doing things by myself, taking pictures without him.. I'm just ready for this wait to be over. As much as it has been worth it, and it really has been worth it, I'm done waiting. I would never do this again. I would never wish this upon my worst enemy.

I love Brady and I just want him back :) Which will happen in 4 short months and I'm just so excited :) I can't believe I'm almost to 100 days left too! So many people get annoyed with my constant posting of how much longer I have left to wait, but trust me, if you were in my shoes, you would too :) Plus, I don't care. I'm excited. I haven't seen him, or heard his voice in 20 months... ahhh :) I'm so ecstatic!!!!!

Love you so much babe. Finish out strong :)

I'll be right here waiting for you.