Something Different

I guess I haven't really said on my blog yet, but I painted my room pink. It was kind of a big deal. My parents weren't very happy, but it makes me happy. I'm in the basement and my room was a chocolate brown. I wanted something bright, colorful and happy :] So my counselor suggested to paint it a happy color, and for some reason, I picked pink. Hahaha, but I absolutely love it. It's so warm and it brings in ALL the sunshine :]

"I still feel the sting of the pain..."

Well, as I'm putting my room back together, and picking out which frame (wayyyy too many!) to put back on my wall, and which to leave down, I finally decided to hangup my rose for Andy. I had put it on a picture frame, instead of my car just in case I got in an accident, I would always have it. I know I won't always have it hanging up for the rest of my life (maybe) but I thought, for now, I want it up. So I put it above my mirror. It's not big, and it doesn't stick out like a sore thumb, but it makes me happy to see it :]

I also found this picture album that had this quote (top right corner) next to the picture of Andy and I. It's my favorite picture. I will always love it. But it's time to be honest with myself. I don't feel heavy pain anymore. I really wished I could have seen him grow up. I wished I could have had more time with him. I'm thankful for the time God gave me, even though we couldn't make it last. I just wished I could have seen his sweet spirit turn into the amazing man I knew it wanted to be.

"It doesn't happen over night,

but you turn around and a months gone by..."

It's all different for me now. I feel peace. I feel content. I feel happy knowing I'll see him again. Very rarely do I feel like I have much to say anymore... It's almost been three years and even though some days I still feel the sting of the pain, my mind is consumed with the day of your funeral, and I ache for EFY again.. I know there are better things that you are doing now. There are better things in store. You are in so much happiness, and I find myself happy as well :]

I'm so grateful for Andy's family and how kind they always are to me. Even though we don't really know each other all that well, it still really means a lot to me that they are so kind and stay in touch. I can't imagine never knowing them. Andy was such a great friend, and had such a huge impact on my life, I just want to thank them. You are amazing people, and I thank you for sending Andy to EFY and giving me that opportunity to meet such an incredible person. He truly is looking over us and smiles :]

I love you Andy!

God Be With You Until We Meet Again...