Not The End

Remember that Read With Me Challenge I've mentioned a few times in older posts? Well it's come to an end. I finished tonight (well last night since I'm posting this "early" in the morning) and it was pretty hard and spiritual for me. I play church music when I read my scriptures so that I don't let my mind wonder, and it invites the Spirit even more, plus church music is just my favorite :) Well, there was a song that came on, it's called Every Breath by Jenny Phillips. Have you ever heard her sing!? She's AMAZING. Well, I'm posting it from youtube so that you can listen to it while I babble some more...

I'm grateful for this song, and the strength it brings me.

Anyway, so I'm still just, in complete shock that I finished the Book of Mormon. There were so many days that I got behind that sometimes I just didn't think I'd ever catch up, or that I'd finish next year; I didn't want any of that to happen. I stuck to it, and I firmly believe the comfort that came from me reading this, is what's got me through these last two months. And I'm not just saying that.

I've really struggled lately, and I'm sure you've all heard my sob story. But it's rough grieving the loss of my sweet, sweet Andy. And then having my best friend leave on a mission, while struggling with school. It was a hard couple months, but I know this book kept me sane at my most breakable moments. This book has given me more hope than I think it'll ever realize. I came across a verse in Moroni 7. It's verse 48 and it reads,

 "Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen."

That just really touched my heart. I wanted to cry, because I just hope that the "someday" we are all preparing for will come soon. I know that's a little crazy of me to say, but every time I think of it, my heart can't help but fill up with pure happiness. To be with my best friend, my Savior, my Heavenly Father, Andy... and many more loved ones.

"I am mindful of you always in my prayers, continually praying unto God the Father in the name of his Holy Child, Jesus, that he, through his infinite goodness and grace, will keep you through the endurance of faith on his name to the end. " (Moroni 8:3)

Which brings in my next few verses (Moroni 9:25-26):

"My son, be faithful in Christ; and may not the things which I have written grieve thee, to weigh thee down unto death; but may Christ lift thee up, and may his sufferings and death, and the showing his body unto our fathers, and his mercy and long-suffering, and the hope of his glory and of eternal life, rest in your mind forever."

"And may the grace of God the Father, whose throne is high in the heavens, and our Lord Jesus Christ, who sitteth on the right hand of his power, until all things shall become subject unto him, be, and abide with you forever. Amen."

I guess you could say, Heavenly Father doesn't want us to forget. I know, I know, we all know that. But I swear it after reading this. I seriously think the last ten pages I read tonight were filled with so much humility, it was almost overwhelming for me to read! My Savior's love just exploded from the pages and each verse was hopeful and uplifting, good guidelines, and explanations of consequences both good and bad. It has been a little hard lately without Andy. I've been thinking a lot about him this break, which I expected to be normal, but I forgot that Moroni 10 was the last chapter in the Book of Mormon, so when I realized the first few verses of the last chapter were the verses I shared with Andy at EFY, that were the verses for our company, I almost broke down crying. I miss him so much, and the Spirit was so strong. I really wish he was with me some days, but I know the verses I shared up above helps me remember that I'll see my Andy one day. That his memory will stay with me forever, and that I'll remember he's with Heavenly Father now, happy and safe again :)

And the last verse that made a difference was Moroni 10:27.

"And I exhort you to remember these things; for the time speedily cometh that ye shall know that I lie not, for ye shall see me at the bar of God; and the Lord God will say unto you: Did I not declare my words unto you, which were written by this man, like as one crying from the dead, yea, even as one speaking out of the dust?"

The word "speedily" caught my attention from this verse. It's used a lot in the scriptures and to me, we don't have a lot of time. I feel like the only way I can truly prepare for my Savior is the intent of my heart in all my doings, and my testimony. It's the testimony that will get us through; I thought a lot about that tonight. I mean, yeah we've got the scriptures to read, we've got church talks, conference videos, family traditions, journals and such, but in the end, what really continues to carry us, is the testimony we have of our Savior. The testimony we have of our own faith that we can endure to the end. That we believe in our Savior. That we know he'll come for us one day. That one day, his promise will be fulfilled and we will be like him.

I know my testimony of this Book of Mormon has grown stronger and more stable than ever. This isn't the end of my Book of Mormon reading. A friend of mine made a comment about reading the Book of Mormon 3 times in 3 months (which I'll be doing in the summer!!) and another said try reading it in 3 days. And I'm thinking, holy cow! Here I am feeling proud for reading it in two months, and these people have read it faster! But then I began to felt prideful after saying that.

It's not about reading it 3 times in 3 months, or in 3 days, 2 months, heck its not even about how fast you can do it. It's reading it. Reading ten pages this time around was something different for me. I used to read by chapter, and I began to only care about how long the chapter was, or what it was about. This time it was those ten pages. I got to study those ten pages for however long I want. Ask whatever questions, and follow promptings from it, learn and take what I can from it, and apply. It was the best way to read it, I think. I'm truly grateful for this experience and I don't think I could thank Becca enough for doing this. It was truly an answer to a prayer of mine, and that isn't made up; it was. I know Heavenly Father was looking out for me and I know he will continue to.

The Book of Mormon is true.