I've struggled with this decision since about the 1st month Brady was out. I had awful nights, sometimes weeks, where I couldn't sleep, eat, focus on school, and do nothing but cry because I wasn't sure if waiting for Brady was the right thing. I've never wanted to be the girl who sent off a missionary and "Dear Johned" him.. ya know? That's not me. (And it still isn't). I've done lots of praying, going to the Temple, searching the scriptures and just pondering this decision, and I feel I've gotten my answer and now it's time to act upon that answer.
Brady and I have talked about it in our letters. He's asked me if I've been on dates, and I've told him that I'm going to go on dates if I get asked, and that I feel more comfortable doing so instead of just keeping myself locked up. And he's fine, he's not upset or anything, he wants me to be happy and make sure that I'm doing what the Lord wants. Trust me, it isn't the easiest thing to date someone before they leave, have them leave, and then tell them you're going to be dating other people. It's hard, but we're both comfortable with our decision.
It's been hard because I feel like most guys don't really want to get to know me, or care to be my friend period because of Brady. Yeah sure, I'm going to say it. I want to marry Brady. But that's if I'm still single when he gets home, if we both want to date each other, etc. But I also want to make sure the Lord is involved 110% of my decision, and so I feel in order to have that happen, I'm going to date to get to know other people, and see what I can and can't work with, for eternity. I spent my time dating Brady, so I know everything between him and I, but now I need to know someone else for myself.
So I've been doing my best putting myself out there, getting to know guys, hanging out with them, talking to them, staying after at Institute to interact with others, going to a YSA Ward, etc. It's been difficult but I'm really proud of myself for doing so.
So without further ado, I went on my first date yesterday :) His name is Spenser! He lives in my home ward but goes to my YSA, so I've known of him for a while. He took me to Leatherby's and it was SO fun! :) We laughed and talked the whole time and ate ice cream! Hehe it was awesome, he's a really good guy and I think he's very nice! He even came with me to drop off ice cream to my best friend :) So overall, my first date after Brady being gone was awesome! :) Here are our finished products! We got the same thing:
Thanks for taking me out Spenser! I had so much fun! :)
2 comments:
Ashley! That is such a huge step! I'm proud of you! I hope you understand what I mean by that - That you're deciding to live your life, sticking to your hopes and dreams, but you're daring to take risks! And its awesome!
Ashley this is awesome. I decided the same thing coming into school this year, and it has been sooo good for me. I trust the Lord to guide me and my relationships with other guys, and I know He's looking out for me, and everything will happen for a reason. It's all about faith for me I think. I'm just putting my trust in the Lord these last months, and I know He has a plan, and it's going to happen no matter what. It's such a relieving feeling, isn't it? To just know that it's going to work out the right way, and you trust Heavenly Father to be there and make whatever happen, happen? Yeah..I don't know, this really isn't making sense, but just know that I'm proud of you, and if you ever need to talk, I'm doing the SAME thing! :) Love you girl.
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