My Life :)

Boy have things been crazy. I've kind of been hesitating this post... but I'm hoping to make it a good one.

I almost feel like it's a last post for some reason. I don't know if I like it.

My life has just been crazy. I've been through so much and have learned so much as well. My childhood has been amazing, and I've loved looking back. I have had the best friends growing up and supporting me in all that I do.

I want my family, especially my parents, to know how thankful I am for everything they've done for me when it came to my surgeries. They were always by my bed side every waking moment. As far back as I can remember to getting an IV when I took a CAT Scan, I remember my dad holding my other hand and just telling me to squeeze and look the opposite way. I remember crying, I did a few times but I followed my dad's council and after a while, it stopped hurting. After a while I didn't have to hold my dad's hand, and after a while, I didn't need to look away. My dad and I grew a very good relationship from all the hospital times. I thank him so much for helping me when it came to that.

I am not going to leave out my cute mother because she is just amazing and I only hope to take on her qualities and characteristics when I grow up and I love her very much. She's sacrificed SO much on my behalf. I can't even tell you how many times my mother has just dropped what she was doing to help me... (Goodness I'm going to tear up just writing this.) How many times she put her life on hold, and put her schedule around mine and my life to help me. I can't tell you how much I loved how she would bring me things I needed at school, even if it was crackers and milk :) My mother has always given her life up for mine. She has helped me through every painful thing I can remember. My mother is the best mother Heavenly Father could have blessed me with on this Earthly journey.

I can now remember all the friends I've met :) Boy oh boy! I've loved every friend I've ever had. It's been hard with all the drama and the fights and the rumors and little things that now, don't matter AT ALL. But I learned a lot about who I want to be from that. What kind of friend I deserve and what kind of friend I deserve to be. Thanks to all my friends for such fun memories :)

As for sports. Dance, holy smokes! Dance has been amazing for me. I still miss it and I want to dance again very badly, but I've grown up and no longer can. I tried Cross Country and Track this past year and I loved every minute of it. I'm addicted to running. Things happened around second semester and I quit track but I loved Cross Country. It taught me so much! Thanks to all my dance teachers and to Coach Rushforth & Coach Smith for helping me through my running goals!

Now, with school. Holy smokes! Hahaha I can't believe and now I'm finished. Elementary school went by way fast. My favorite teacher had to be Ms. Holtkamp! Hahaha then Junior high... whoa. That stuff was crazy!! SO much drama! My favorite teacher had to be Mr. Johnson. He helped me so much and just always supported me and knew I could do good and get great grades :) He's actually in stake, crazy huh? Then high school came... gosh. I wish I could've done better in 10Th grade. I was a slacker and didn't care. But boy did I care in 11Th grade. I had my conversion at the end of 10Th grade and I picked myself up and changed my life. It was amazing :) And I'd never go back or do anything different. I did work SO hard my junior year and never got lower than a 3.0. I was so happy!!! :)

Then Senior year came. It was prolly the worst of all my high school years, but it's over and I'm happy. I lost a dear friend to me and that was one of the hardest things (next to surgeries, and almost loosing my family) I've ever been through. I still miss him dearly every single day. Then I went through a pretty hard "break up" I guess you could call it. We were never together "officially", but emotionally, I feel we were. It was the hardest heartbreak I have ever been through in my life. I had to deal with that pain, and the loss from my friend. You see, this person and I worked through the loss of my friend together. He was my shoulder to cry on, my best friend, my rock. He got me through most of it and when he just left my life.... I've never been in a darker place. I've never been so depressed in my life. I changed my schedule so much that semester so I could be with my counselor most of the time. And it helped! School ended, graduation came and went and I was happier than ever :) I started seeing a counselor through LDS Family Services and my doctor put me on a medicine that kept me happy. :) My counselor was one amazing lady and helped me a lot. It didn't take long before I started feeling better! I was hanging out with better, happier friends and that is when Brady & I started dating :)

My life has been so much better since, but I know after my Senior year, I can endure pain. I could go on and continue my life story, since this post is titled, "My Life", but I won't bore you ;) I'm really sad to be leaving this town. This is my childhood. This is where I grew up and this is all I've known for 11 years of my life. I'm sad to be leaving my best friends, my young women, my ward, my school friends, and my family. (And my dog! ;)..) It is going to be one of the hardest things I'll ever do as well, but I know the Lord is already walking by my side. I know He has been my constant companion. I have felt His love and His Spirit SO SO SO SO much this summer and I still do to this day :) I am so special to Him, and I know He loves me. He will never leave me alone. I know with the Lord I can conquer all things. I know the Lord lives and helps me. I could continue to write my testimony but this post will be SUPER long. I still have more to write.

I'm going to have trials, and hard times. I just know it. Especially being away from Brady. I have already been away from him for 2 weeks technically and it has been so hard being away from him. He's been at bear lake with no service this week so in reality, it's been good. This is what it is going to be like when he serves his mission. No contact whatsoever, but letters/emails. I have almost cried today because I can just imagine how every day, for two years, will feel like this. I will eventually turn it into a positive thing, but I love Brady. I do not like being away from him. He's my other half. He's the reason I wake up in the morning :) He's the reason I carry a smile around, he's the reason I do anything in my life. He supports me so much and takes care of me like none other. I love him. I truly love him. I know him going on a mission is going to benefit the both of us, but I wish it would come so he'll get back faster! I keep telling myself, work hard on your associates, get it done, graduate from Snow, and he'll be back :) I imagine him leaving before Christmas, or just after but if he does, (and he reads this, which I'm not sure he will) I want him to know how much I love him. How proud I am of him and how much he means to me.

My life has been one amazing ride. I feel like I'm closing this book. I'm starting my second book. I'm 18 now :) I am my own person finally, I make my decisions, I take responsibility for all my actions, and pay prices whether good or bad. But I know the Lord will be with me :) I cannot wait to start my college experience and start learning more!!! :) Wish me luck! I move in Saturday. Not sure how much computer access I'll have there for a while, so for now, this is my post before then possibly. I love you all. Thanks for reading my rambling blog, and reading/looking at my crazy adventures since graduation.

I would like to wish the graduation Senior class of 2010, from Copper Hills High School, the best of luck! And I hope you all go where your life is meant to lead you. :) Congratulations!

Love Your Friend,

Ashley